Commentary for Moed Katan 40:14

ותניא אידך אף על פי שאמרו אינו רשאי לכוף את אשתו להיות כוחלת ולהיות פוקסת באמת אמרו מוזגת לו את הכוס ומצעת לו מטה ומרחצת לו פניו ידיו ורגליו קשיין אהדדי

[as usual], but he should overturn his [own] couch and observe [formal] mourning with her; and likewise she, when her fatherin-law or mother-in-law dies, may not put on kohl or do her hair [as usual]; but she should overturn her couch and observe [formal] mourning with him'. And another Baraitha taught: 'Although it was stated [that] he may not compel his wife to put on kohl or do her hair [as usual] it is - said they - indisputably correct<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'in truth, they said'. V. B.M. 6.');">²⁵</span> that she [may] mix his wine for him, make his bed and wash his face, hands and feet'.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' I.e., she may attend to his usual needs. [Washing hands and feet means in warm water which is forbidden to a mourner (Tosaf.) .]');">²⁶</span>

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